You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
