we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
