Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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