i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
