he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
