I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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