His pubic hair was longer than his dick
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
