I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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