How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
