Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
