yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
