Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's not a walk of shame if you run
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
