he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
