Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
