i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
