i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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