Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
