first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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