i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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