i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
