I think scott just propositioned me for sex
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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