wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
