I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
