Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize