the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
