I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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