Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
