Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
