the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think I died a long time ago.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
