I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
