Kiss
Puke
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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