ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
