how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What a dumb baby whore.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
