i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
