I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
There's even glitter on my cock...
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