Don't make out with my wife yet
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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