sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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