he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
