Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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