So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
