Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
