The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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