i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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