people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
