so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Semen is not good for contacts.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
