Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
