We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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