Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
no, he came in my armpit
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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