This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
