hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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