Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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