You made me cry and you don't even care
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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