Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
