My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
