The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
